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Sunday, February 28, 2010

Magpie Tales 3


This was a tough one. I couldn’t summon the muse at all, no matter how many times I looked at that damned picture of a kilo weight. Coming from a certain generation, I kept getting hung up on that word "kilo".

Back in the day . . . way back in the day . . . I have to confess to a momentary fascination with the effects of marijuana. It only lasted for a short time. A couple of days. Or was that weeks. Or months. Or years. I sort of forget. But it is far in the past now. (That makes me think of the scene in the movie "It’s Complicated" where Meryl Streep and Steve Martin are sharing a joint and one or the other of them says (approximately) "This sure is different from what we smoked 30 years ago!")

Anyway I had a friend . . . back in the day . . . who smoked way more than I did. One time he went to Hawaii and while there acquired a sizeable amount of what was known as Maui Wowie, much of which he brought back to the mainland in his wife’s suitcase. She didn’t know it was there until they got home and boy was she pissed at him.

He decided to share his wealth with me and mailed a package of it to me. It arrived at my home when no one was there, with his return address on the outside of the package. AND WITH POSTAGE DUE!!!

Now there’s a sidebar to this. Our yard at the time had a large number of snails. I had told him we were going to gather them up, purge them by feeding them cornmeal and then cook them up for an escargot feast. Snails . . . or garden slugs, as he insisted on calling them . . . were not his cup of tea. But when he was in Hawaii, he toured a botanical garden and took an extreme close-up photo of the biggest snail I’ve ever seen. In the picture which topped off his "gift", it looked about the size of an old Buick.

Well, the good news is the postman didn’t open the package, we paid the postage due, we didn't "process" the snails and the rest is lost to history.

Until Willow’s photo prompt for Magpie Tales 3. And the only thing I could think of was this little limerick.

The mailman while making his rounds,
Brought a package that brings joyful sounds,
A box of fresh weed
All foil-wrapped, indeed,
A kilo that weighs two-plus pounds.

And if that's not enough, you can join in and/or read much more from more talented writers at Magpie Tales 3

33 comments:

  1. what a ride! it never ceases to amaze me how one picture, or word can prompt so many memories, stories...

    yours is very much a fun tale! Busted! :)

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  2. A delightful little ditty! I'm glad you decided to post it with the accompanying weed and snail tales. :^)

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  3. I was a little long in the tooth when everybody took up smoking grass. My one experience with the stuff was rather grand, however -- in a compartment with a crowd of businessmen/women on the Orient Express between Budapest & Vienna.

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  4. It's every bit as interesting as fiction. And the limerick tops it off.

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  5. Kay - I'm glad you enjoyed it.

    Willow - It was only for your encouragement.

    Granny J - Now there's a story to be told! You should join Willow's Magpie Tales challenge.

    Little Hat - Ah, but maybe it is fiction! ;^/

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  6. A snail the size of a Buick? Whatchasmokin mon? The postman must have been a happy deliverer with that parcel! haha! Funny story - loved it!

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  7. lol. what an amazing tale...i must say my thoughts went there as well...i wonder if the postman smelled the package...fun magpie!

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  8. Chiccoreal - Ha! I hadn't even thought of that! Thanks for loving the story.

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  9. Brian - Apparently not or he would have wanted more than the 44 cents I had to pay!

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  10. new meaning to the phrase "You've got mail!" very funny!

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  11. I too obsessed on that reference but teaseingly HH said someone may contact you from the DEA, so I went the direction I went. I enjoyed your story. This is great fun.
    QMM

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  12. Short, sweet, and to the point. Let's lose those extra pounds and the world have it... our sexy bodies.. hee hee... :) The Bach

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  13. C.M.J. - Oh, I hate that AOL thing! Thanks!

    QMM - Thank you so much!

    Bach - Ain't we got fun???

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  14. So you got scared off by the monster snail of doom?
    Nice reminiscence.

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  15. I loved this! We have tried snails at a restaurant... luckily I can only remember the garlic!

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  16. Splendid, a man after my own weed (heart, I mean heart)! Light and funny, easy to read, this story flowed. Nicely done! Thank you!

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  17. Your true story is better than fiction. Cute little limerick too.

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  18. "Comin' in to Los Angeleeees
    Bringin' in a couple of keys,
    Don't touch my bag if you please,
    Mr. Customs Man>"

    Good story!

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  19. Meggie - That's why you eat them!

    Sun Dance Hill - Thank you!

    Steviewren - And you!

    Vicki - I'll have to try to find that song! Thanks.

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  20. Vicki - Oh, Arlo! I should have known!

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  21. Loved the limerick but the story was the best.. loved it and it was true, something to tell your grand children??LOL
    Christine

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  22. Christine - I think the statute of limitations has run out . . . so . . . yes it's all true! Glad you liked it.

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  23. Oh Catalyst that's priceless.

    I love the story and must confess to the word "kilo" evoking the same weighed product.

    And you know, I had trouble with the prompt too, and got to writing a real life story (which turned into something else) but in my "creative" process had considered a limerick too!

    Loved it. Cheers.

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  24. Jennifer - Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad it brought you a laugh or two.

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  25. Oops, Mama Zen, you slipped past me there. Thanks!

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  26. You must not be French? they love their snails, could never figure that one out -considering they are a nation of fine wines, wonderful cheeses, pastries , then why eat snails?,,

    Glad you posted this story it held more then a fun laughs coming from the 60's.

    Joanny

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  27. Joanny - No, not French but I do love escargot. And I think the snails are just an excuse to eat garlic and butter!

    The story is actually from the 70's but glad you enjoyed it.

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  28. Great post! Must confess, as I age the prospect of using 'something' to ease the pain of aching joints is most intriguing.

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  29. Helen - Thanks! I can offer no advice on the use of herbal remedies. There's a law against that! ;^>

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  30. Those were the days. In the 60s, I was a teenager living in the SF Bay Area, before I joined the Army. Your tale brings back lots of innteresting and good memories. There are a few I would prefer to forget (grin).

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  31. Steve - Flower Power! Or at least Bud Bliss!

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