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Monday, January 23, 2012

THE G.O.P.

That's the Godawful Oblivious Poppycockers.

Self punishers that we are, we watched the umpteenth Republican presidential contendors debate tonight.  Why, oh why, do we do it.  There is lots of other programming on television.  There are "Dog, the Bounty Hunter"; "Miami Ink"; "Dog Whisperer", "Tommy Lee Goes to College" and many other quality programs.

But no, we waste our lives watching a diminishing band of lunatics trying to become the favorite of the Republican party to be destroyed by President Barack Obama.  I mean, who's going to compete with this:


But, anyway, the Final Four went at it again tonight down there in Florida.  Mighty Willard (Willard Mitt Romney - you can look it up) wielded the cudgel tonight over his opponent Leroy (Newton Leroy Gingrich - you can look that one up, too).  Willard, having been duly worked over by Leroy up there in the intellectual hotbed that is South Carolina last week, decided he was going to give that fat little spider a taste of his own medicine.  And so he did, at one time reducing poor Leroy to a near-Rick Perry moment, when he paused for a lengthy time before trying a comeback.  One would have thought that Leroy had been so stunned by the Mormon onslaught that he couldn't think in great ponderous thoughts, as is so often his wont.

Meantime, poor Ricky Santorum (looking for all the world like a Cub Scout) and patient Ron Paul (who appeared simultaneously bored and amused) anchored the ends of this duel in the swamp.  They each got about 10 percent of the time allotted to the other two dingbats.  And that's about what they're worth. 

One has to nearly feel sorry for Santorum, who looks so aggrieved but also shamefaced when he is suddenly called upon to answer one of the rare questions directed his way.

Not so for Ron Paul.  He is always ready to lecture us on his bizarre theories of monetary and Constitutional reform.  As he nearly said tonight, he knows he has no chance of winning the presidential nomination but he loves the attention his out-of-date theories are getting via his continued candidacy.

(By the way, did you hear about his son, Senator Rand Paul?  He set off an alarm at the airport in Nashville today, refused a TSA patdown and was denied permission to fly to Washington.  Seems like the whole family has been smokin' that wacky tobaccy.)

So anyway, tonight Willard (Mitt) got tough with Leroy (Newt).  We'll see how that goes over with the fine Republican voters of Florida, several hundred thousand of which have already voted. 

But in Washington, laughter (and maybe some Al Green music) is resounding from the White House.

7 comments:

  1. You know how these things work: Republicans are going to appeal to the far right wing of their party in the primaries, then the eventual nominee will move toward the middle for the general election. I still think Romney will be the nominee because he has a very sparse public record to scrutinize, whereas Newt has an extensive one, and it isn't pretty.

    That's also what helped Obama in 2008...he had little/no public record to run on. His speeches won it for him. This time, however, he has a record in office, and it has not been successful. Forget "why". People vote their pocketbooks, and too many are empty. I'm not sure speeches alone can win it for Obama this time. Dems are going to vote for Obama, period. Republicans are going to vote for their nominee, period. It's the independents, again, who will decide. It's THEIR pocketbooks that matter.

    A lot of factors beyond his control (such as the debt crisis in Europe) will affect our economy this year, and if our economy can show considerable improvement between now and the election, and I think that's certainly possible, Obama can win. Another dip, however, and he's in real trouble.

    That's my take, which is worth exactly zero. :)

    S

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  2. We watched Michael Palin in the Himalayas instead - I think it was MUCH more enlightening. And pretty entertaining too :)

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  3. Mainstream members of the Republican party are waking up to the possibility of a Gingrich presidency and they're terrified. In the coming weeks Gingrich is going to receive a Republican blitzrieg. It's going to be fun to watch.

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  4. Scott, you're right about how the election will proceed. However, I think Obama's record is much better than you give him credit for. I'm trying to locate an article someone sent me recently. Send me your email address, if you like, and I'll forward it to you.

    Dana - I dunno, it was pretty darn entertaining to watch Willard blast Leroy. (Sounds like something from the Beverly Hillbillies, doesn't it?)

    Stephen - I suspect you're right, definitely about the entertainment value! ;)

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  5. I simply think I'll follow your blog for political summaries these coming days instead of trying to sort out what I am reading in the news on the web...

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  6. Loved this post. It put a smile on my face!! Well, that and all the shouting I did this morning at the Republican rebutters. It's a good thing no one was around to see me walking around the house shouting "idiots, you are all idiots". Of course I saved the word "pathetic" to describe Boehner. It fits him so well.

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  7. Therese - You're the only person I know of who actually left the country!

    Sharon - I wish I'd been there to hear your "performance".

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