THE FRIDAY FUNNIES

 Didya miss me?

Sorry I wasn't here yesterday but I had lunch with the BRD and as oft happens when we get together I just lost all touch of time.

Well it's been awhile.

There's been a pandemic.

I've been kept in my home.

And there was some really good beer in that alehouse.

So gimmee a break, willya?

All right, enough of that Bowery Boys language.

Let's get on with what you *all* came here for - the pre-weekend phunnies.

First off, for my pal Jager, who is celebrating (?) his 76th birthday today:

Sorry, RvK.

You may have noticed a slightly more intellectual tilt to the Funnies this week.

Please forgive me, I had pedantic friends in my life.

At any rate, have a lovely and lasting lollapalooza of a weekend and always . . . ALWAYS . . . remember to keep laughing!

Here, kitty-kitty . .

(uh-oh, this looks like trouble . . .)

SWEET

 

It is time to indulge with guilt or shame.

Today is National Fudge Day!

This is one cloyingly sweet treat on which She Who Must Be Obeyed and I disagree.

She cannot abide the deliciousness of this (usually) wintry treat and I love it.

Which makes a certain Christmas gift that arrives every year mine, all mine!

When I was a wee lad in Frozen North Dakota there was always plenty of fudge produced from the kitchen of my mother, as well as mothers all around town.

So I grew up eating Chocolate Fudge.

And the snow white and even sweeter Divinity.

And a sort of butterscotch flavored one called Penuche.

I have recently learned that SWMBO dislikes butterscotch too.

This revelation came as she was tucking into a bowl of Heath Bar Ice Cream, which is described as "chunks of real HEATH bar nestled in toffee-flavored Breyers with a sweet caramel swirl for a dessert that can't be beat."

Now I ask you, Gentle Readers, how can she can devour that stuff with relish but she can't stand Fudge?

But never mind, it just makes my holidays with St. Nick all the better.

100+

 The heat is on.

As I'm typing this the Weather Gods are telling me it is 104 degrees F. outside my air conditioned home.

I remember moving to Phoenix back in July of 1972 and learning that the word used for air conditioning there was "refrigeration".

It's 113 down there right now, aiming for 116 later today.

120 degree days are predicted to be coming soon.

And, as SWMBO says, "it's only June!"

When I lived survived down there this is what a dream was like.

Show me water!

Get me to an ocean beach!

I learned yesterday of a Colorado-based friend who is on a houseboat trip on Lake Powell up near the Arizona-Utah border where the temperatures daily have been in the low hundreds.

Judy's son allegedly is heading this way from Indiana for a visit right now.

I keep thinking of that Jay Leno question to Hugh Grant after the actor got caught in a compromising situation: "What the hell were you thinking?"

When the evening cocktail hour on the patio arrives, after the temperature has cooled to the slightly more acceptable 90's, the dreams are perhaps a bit more surreal than those ancient Phoenix musings.

Those Weather Gods tell me we're under an Excessive Heat Warning for the rest of the week.

That's a gentle way of putting it.

I say, "It's Arizona. It's damned hot!"

IT'S A GRAND OLD . . .

Today is another birthday for my old buddy Baseball Steve.

I won't embarrass him by telling you which one but let's just say that he is a little bit somewhat younger than me.

It's also a special day for we residents of the U.S. of A.

So Happy Birthday, Steve, and Happy Flag Day to all those of you who share my country.

But therein lies a story.

 

Judy had to go see her eye doctor today.

Not knowing if her eyes would be dilated or not, I drove her to his office.

She was back in the bowels of the medical world for about an hour or so but when she came out she said her eyes hurt.

I, the caring husband, panicked and asked her what was the matter, what had they done to her in there, did we have to race to the hospital, etc. etc.

She said her doctor was going to send a picture to me.

Growing ever more fearful, I asked "Of what? Of your eyes? What's wrong???"

She said "Oh, you'll see once you get the picture."

And pretty soon, I *did* get the picture, in more ways then one.

I'm sharing it with you now.

Brace yourselves.

In case you can't make it out, his trousers are royal blue, matching the blue behind the stars on his necktie.

Judy said his nurse commented "You're lucky you weren't here a few months ago. On St. Patrick's Day!"

THE HEART . .

 

 . . of a Marigold.

Really!

VS DAY

 Let it never be said that we are too old to learn anything new.

Last Friday . .

that is, a week ago yesterday, on this blog's hilarious (he said) weekly compendium of comedy there was one that said . . well, let me just show it to you again.

Yesterday morning, a week after I posted that, my wife's telephone rang.

In the other room.

(Doesn't it always work that way?)

She, like myself, is of an advanced age now and, like myself, doesn't move as fast as she once did.

So after, hurrying (for what that word means nowadays) to the other room she answered the phone and was greeted by a chirpy female voice saying "Hello, how are YOU today?"

Not recognizing the voice but recalling a lesson learned a week previously, my lovely wife responded with "Fine but speak up please. We're on the air."

The chickie-poo (for that's what she sounded like) said "What? What did you say?"

My wife responded sweetly "Speak up, please, we're broadcasting."

The line went dead.

And that's why I call her "She Who Must Be Obeyed".

And that's why I declare June 11th to be V-S Day.

VICTORY OVER SPAM!!!

THE FRIDAY FUNNIES

 Yes, Gentle Readers, we have careened wildly through yet another week and screeched to a stop at the TGIF sign.

How ya' doin'?

Oh, my, I've been reading Bill Buford's book on the birth of the English language and I fear it's getting to me.

So let's get on with the true business of the day, eh?

For this first one, "turnabout is fair play"!

And with that, I'm "On the Road to Rio".

Well, not really, but I am Hope-ing for a spectacular weekend for all of you, full of fun and frolic and feasts.

Now always remember to keep laughing!

Here, kitty-kitty . . .

(If you don't understand that one, ask Jolly Jim, who provided it to me . . or some other musician)

YELLOW GOLD

A tiny Goldfinch. 

The birds share their drinking fountain with . . . yup, you guessed it . . . bees!

And amazingly, in spite of those old "birds and bees" tropes, it seems to be a largely amicable relationship.

BIRDIES

 Visitors to the Big Blue Bird Bath recently include

a female House Finch,

and

her more colorful male companion.

It is interesting to me that the males, in the avian world, are more colorful than the females.

I'm guessing they need the color to attract a female for mating purposes, n'est-ce pas?

TG, TB, & TU

 Today, a brief musical interlude.

TO FILM A HUMMINGBIRD

 Trying to get a picture of a nervous hummingbird is a lifework in itself.

For example:

Can you see him (or her)?

It was checking out each of the sun faces for possible pollen and I was amazed to find that I had caught it in mid-flight.

Here's a close-up to prove that statement.

Were it not for the sun casting his fleeing shadow on the wall, I might have missed it as well.

BILLOWS

 

A view of our constantly changing sky an evening or two ago.

Arizona usually has endless days of clear blue skies but this spring has seen clear days, cloudy days, overcast days, rainy sky days, though typically the rain never seems to reach us here.

The drought continues.

The Southwest continues to be a very dry place to live.

Our Wisteria vine was not happy at one end of the arbor and last night we moved it over to a corner of the yard next to the voluptuous Honeysuckle on the wall.

We will see if it thrives there.

SWMBO said she'll give it a chance but if it dies, it dies.

When I have a night like I had last night, wakeful because I forgot to take my bedtime pills, I greet the new day feeling about like that myself.

THE FRIDAY FUNNIES

 This has been one of those lazy weeks where I spend hours in a recliner in front of the television, or reading books I've missed, or taking naps, or just sitting in the sun staring mindlessly.

And, no surprise, the cartoonists have all gone on vacation or on strike or somewhere.

What that means is that I have no pictures for this week's attempt at bringing lightness to your world.

But never fear, the writers are still here.

And I do have plenty of words.

Cue up the All Words Funnies!

And with that I shall bring a respite for your tired eyes and wish you all a spectacular weekend.

Summer is nearly upon us and we all deserve one of those, don't you think?

To help you glide into the sultry season just remember to always keep laughing!

Here, kitty-kitty . . .

(Aha! ONE cartoonist is already back to work!)

PEACEFUL

 

This is the front of a birthday card I received from my brother back in April.

The image so pleased me that I taped it to the base of my desk lamp directly in front of me.

WATCHFUL

 Someone who hasn't made up his mind about something is said to be "still on the fence".

It came up because I caught one of our visitors being "still" on our fence.

VISITORS

 The New Blue Bird Bath continues to attract customers, seeking a drink or a bath.

Here are a few of them.

Oh, they're there, all right.

You just have to look a bit closer.

First a Goldfinch couple, then a curious Mountain Jay, and finally a plump Mourning Dove.

I wonder if their vision allows them to see their reflections in the water.