TOO GOOD NOT TO SHARE

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, if the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period. 

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish it's lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2014, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2014. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

MOTHER'S DAY

My mother and probably my older brother sometime in the 1930's.

Hattie Loretta (Hylland) Taylor

1904-1953

Happy Mother's Day, Mom.

A SATURDAY SWIM . . . WITH DOLPHINS!

Adam Walker is a British man swimming the hardest 7 oceans of the world.  He'll be the first Brit to do it.  Only four other people have completed the feat so far. This video shows him swimming the Cook Strait, between the two islands of New Zealand.  He was accompanied for more than an hour by a pod of dolphins.

His next and final swim will be in the Irish Sea in August.

Only advice I'd have: make sure those fins are dolphins.  Not sharks.

FRIDAY FUNNIES

Keep on chucklin', folks and have a fantastic weekend!

THROWBACK THURSDAY

I was a tall and lanky (6 foot 2, 150 pounds) high schooler.  People used to ask me if I played basketball back then.  My standard response "No, but I was the tallest student manager in the state."

My good friend of some 40 years, Steve Torbeck, and I used to argue over which one of us was taller.  (Actually I think it was a tie but don't tell him I said that.)  But my last visit to a doctor's office(*) the nurse measured me and said I was 6 foot 1.  Uh-oh.  I've reached that age where I've started shrinking.  Well, at least in height.  I weigh considerably more now than my high school fighting weight.

But I didn't realize how much I had shrunk until I ran into this guy on the Courthouse Plaza in Prescott last weekend.

(*) - One of my recent sayings is about all the doctor visits SWMBO and I make:  "If we didn't have all these doctor visits, we'd have no social life at all!"

WORDLESS WEDNESDAY

HOW THE WEST WAS WON

First you had to have the proper tools.

You had to have a horse - your constant companion.

You had to know how to ride.

Prescott maintains a claim to fame.  In case you didn't notice it . . .

Those rodeos can truly tucker a man out.  So much so that he can fall asleep on his feet.

When you need to get yourself some new gear, there's the general store.  Or, around here you can go to . . .

'Course, things have changed since the glory days of the 1800's.  Nowadays there's a more modern way to shop.