THE ELVES NEVER SLEEP

 This arrived by email a few minutes ago from one of the contributors to the Humor Bank and I feel it's just too good to keep.

XMAS DECOR?

'tis the season.

But not everyone decorates the same way.

For example, I stopped by a house where there were a lot of decorations of a non-traditional type.

Happy Holidays, whatever you're celebrating.

AGAINST ALL ODDS

Allow me to introduce you to Snappy the Snapdragon.

When we moved in he was already there, a little plant growing between the edge of the sidewalk and some rocks that line the front yard.

The soil he's growing in is covered in crushed granite.

It gets little rain.

Let me remind you that this is Arizona.

For a while I would give him some water whenever I would think of it.

But not often and then I quit watering him altogether.

But that doesn't seem to discourage him and now, more than two years since we moved here, he continues to resist the vagaries of extremely hot summers and cold winters.

He continues to bloom cheerfully in spite of all our inattention.

He is a lesson in resistance.

He is Snappy the Snapdragon.

May he thrive forever!

THE FRIDAY FUNNIES

I just bet y'all thought there wouldn't be any Funnies this week after all of those days of turkey jokes.

But you know not the conscientious focus I put into this job of mine.

And it helps to have a band of Elves who never seem to sleep as they continue to supply me with the fodder I dish out each week.

But first, on a serious and personal note, I was not served that pineapple for my Thanksgiving feast yesterday.

That was just a gag photo my chief cook and order giver dreamed up.

Well, we did have the pineapple but it was chopped up and combined with roasted sweet potatoes.

And we did NOT have turkey!

We had our traditional roasted pork loin and Judy's homemade dressing and mashed potatoes and gravy and air-fried Brussels sprouts and hot dinner rolls and olives and pickles and a crunchy top cherry pie (that Marie Callender supplied) with whipped topping and it was all fantastically delicious.

Dinner was accented with an Argentine Malbec wine.

What the hey, you only get one Thanksgiving Feast a year so why not go all out?

Whatever you all dined on, I hope it was as wonderful.

Now that we've got that serious business out of the way, let's get on to the real content you keep coming back for.

And on that gotcha moment, I will urge you to take an uncompromising approach to all those Thanksgiving leftovers, using every bit of your energy with unanimity and unbridled passion.

Eat well and have a universally ultra weekend!

And always remember to keep laughing!

Here, kitty-kitty . . .

( . . . ah, I've trained him well . . . )

ALL RIGHT, LET'S EAT!!!

You know I've been waiting for this day since, well, since last November.

Thanksgiving Day!

The day true eaters long for every other day of the year.

Turkey and stuffing and mashed potatoes and gravy and cranberry sauce and green bean casserole and macaroni and cheese and hot rolls and pumpkin pie and . . . and whatever else you can cram into your craw.

(Def: Craw - the stomach, especially of a lower animal.)

Well, I will not avoid the description of a lower animal as I attack my plate with reckless abandon.

Now some of you have abandoned the noble bird for ham or roast beef or whatever.

But my lovely partner would never do such a terrible thing.

Even though she dislikes turkey, she is a noble creature.

So I looked forward to my feast this year, as always.

And as my mouth was watering and my anticipation was at rocket level, here's what she placed before me.

Happy Thanksgiving!

(i guess)

ONE MORE DAY!

Okay, Gentle Readers, that's it.

My work is done.

Now wherever you are and whether you celebrate this American feast day or not, thanks for your patience with my warped sense of humor/humour and may you all have a great Thursday.

Even these Muppets gathered around their "big bird"!

TWO MORE (DAYS)