Quotations from Mr. Bill

Well look at what I found in my e-mail this morning. These came from an old friend who originally was called Boom Boom. Then he became Boomer. I guess now he thinks of himself as Mr. Bill.

Mr. Bill's Laws of the Perversity of Nature

Nature sides with the hidden flaw.

You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
If you drop your toast it always falls with the jam side down.
If it doesn't, you put your jam on the wrong side.
The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down
is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.

Mr. Bill's Law of Selective Gravity

An object will fall so as to do the most damage.

Mr. Bill's Laws of Selective Physics

It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize you are in a hurry.
If it jams ‑ force it. If you can't force it, get a larger hammer.
If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
When all else fails, read the instructions.

Whenever you are looking for a standard screwdriver; You will find a phillips
Whenever you are looking for a phillips screwdriver; You will find a standard.


Mr. Bill's Laws of Infernal Dynamics

An object in motion will be headed in the wrong direction.
An object at rest will be in the wrong place.
A wire cut to length will be too short.
It works better if you plug it in.

If a project is not worth doing at all, it's not worth doing well.

The solution to a problem changes the problem.

When working towards the solution of a problem,
it always helps if you know the answer.

Inside every small problem is a large problem struggling to get out.

The trouble with resisting temptation is it may never come again.

Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.

Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.

A taxpayer is someone who doesn't have to take a civil service exam
to work for the government.

All things being equal, a fat person uses more soap than a thin person.

Infinity is one lawyer waiting for another.

Murphy was an optimist.

Update

The construction continues to move along on the new Prescott Valley public library. I took this photo this morning. It's a huge building but it's architectural style still leaves one scratching his head.

Of course, this nearby "sculpture", which stands at the entrance to the grounds of the town's public buildings might leave one scratching one's head, too.

Thanksgiving photos

This was what it was all about. That's not a turkey. That's a pork loin that's been stuffed with a mixture of figs, pine nuts, celery, cranberries and bread.

Now, she (at her choice) is rarely photographed but the lady on the left, in command position, is SWMBO. Next to her is the BRD and her beau. (He always knows where the camera is!)

A better photo of the BRD. Did I lie?

And then, of course, the beau and the host. (No, really, he actually is younger than me!)

I liked this shot but it looks much better if you click on it. It's a sort of after-the-feast photo.

We all had a marvelous time and a marvelous feast.

Jazz, however, seemed unimpressed.

Gee, another one!

I seem to be finding new blogs of interest. I've just added another one to my list. Check out "Walk this Way" over there on the right to find out what's happening in the Great Southeast. Today, Joan reports on a funny prank pulled on the merchants in Charleston.

Pardon me

This year, the BRD and her beau are coming over for Thanksgiving Dinner. But SWMBO decided to follow the examples of George W. Bush and Sarah Palin, both of whom have been on television this week pardoning turkeys. However, I've seen the White House menu. Turkey! And Governor Palin announced shortly after her pardon act (in front of a turkey slaughtering plant) that she would be responsible for the Thanksgiving turkey at her house.

But, I digress.

SWMBO announced that this year the main entree at our house will be . . . Stuffed Pork Loin. Mmmmmmmmmm. Don't get me wrong. I love turkey. But SWMBO hates picking the carcass after the meal. And she does wonders with pork loin. Plus the additional items are all in the Thanksgiving tradition. I even made a few of the smaller items myself!

So, Happy Thanksgiving and enjoy your turkey, pork or . . . like a friend in neighboring Prescott . . . Chinese meal this year.

A quick note . . .

. . . to tell you I've added a link to another blogger over there on the right. It's "Touch the Wind". Warren is in Tucson and posts some beautiful pictures and interesting blog items. Enjoy!

Gawd bless Thanksgiving!

This is the greatest holiday in the world.

No gifts.

No valentines.

No drinking green beer.

No anything.

Except celebrating the wonderfulness of food.

Of eating to excess.

I love Thanksgiving.

In preparation of which, I whipped up a pumpkin cobbler this afternoon.

See it?

Smell it?

Taste it?
We sampled it tonight.

It was wonderful.

See that picture up above?

It's not my cobbler.

I stole it from the Internet(s).

But trust me.

My cobbler was delicious.

Gobble, gobble.

Cobble, cobble.

J.F.K.

I was just stunned. I read that President John F. Kennedy was assassinated on November 22, 1963.

THAT IS FORTY FIVE YEARS AGO!

How can that be? I was a radio and television newsman on that day and spent the following many, many hours reporting on the murder and the murder of Lee Harvey Oswald.

Coincidentally, SWMBO and I just watched a television program on Oswald and the assassination. People like attorney Mark Lane are still claiming that someone else murdered the president.

But, 45 years ago? How can that be?

Stand By Me

Great Balls of Fire!!!

From the Guadalajara Reporter:

Jalisco's unique 'round stones' receive cash boost
Written by Tom Marshall
Saturday, 15 November 2008

JALISCO - The famous “round stones” (piedras bolas) of Ahualulco del Mercado were once an exclusive port of call for explorers well-versed in the art of tracking down poorly promoted but fascinating sites of interest in provincial Jalisco.

More than 150 balls of rock that are almost perfectly spherical are spread throughout a forest in the Ameca Valley.Now thanks to the injection of ten million pesos over the past two years, the site is more accessible than ever to tourists and daytrippers.

The piedras bolas comprise of around 150 strange balls of rock that are almost perfectly spherical and spread throughout a forest in the Ameca Valley.

“These symmetrical boulders are unusually large. Nothing quite like them exists elsewhere in Mexico, or, according to current scientific opinion, anywhere else in the world,” writes Tony Burton in his excellent tome, “Western Mexico: A Traveller’s Treasury.”

Researchers from the University of Pennsylvania believe the boulders are 25 to 30 million years old. There has traditionally been a lot of mystery about how they were formed. People used to think giants built them or they were somehow man-made, but more conventional theory suggests they were created during a volcanic eruption in the Tertiary geological era.

The uniqueness of the site has spurred the Jalisco Secretariat of Culture to invest seven million pesos in 2007 and three million so far this year in the area’s infrastructure. The money has been spent on new paths that provide excellent views of the flora in the area, a camping zone, three cycle routes of varying difficultly and a pair of new of suspension bridges.

The aim is to improve and expand tourism in the area, as well as protect the boulders, scientifically known as megaspherulites.

The piedras bolas are located 14 kilometers south of the town of Ahualulco de Mercado, around 70 kilometers west of Guadalajara.

Merry Pranksters - Part Two

So yesterday I told you about one of the greatest college pranks I ever read about. I was (regretfully) not part of it. But here's one that I WILL admit to, lo these nearly 50 years later.

It was one a classmate of mine (whose father amazingly was on the board of directors of the college) and I designed one night. We had (in our sophomoric way) grown indignant at what we conceived as the slovenliness of the night watchman. Keep in mind this was a fairly small college . . . student body at the time only about 500. We had noticed that he had failed occasionaly in one of his duties, which was to lower the American flag from a high flagpole at sunset. He would make the rounds of the various classroom buildings after their curfew for the night, make sure no one was still inside, turn out any lights, lock the doors and then go home to his bed. But he was forgetful about bringing down the Stars and Stripes.

So we decided to make an issue of this. One dark night, my classmate and I skulked through the shadows and entered the campus dining room through a window. We then swiped all of the silverware . . . well, all of the forks and spoons, as I recall . . . emptied them into a pillowcase, tied them to the flag-raising rope and raised it to the top of the flagpole before retiring to our beds for the rest of the night.

I admit it. I didn't have the nerve to show up for breakfast but my friend did. He said it was interesting watching the early risers trying to eat their grapefruit and eggs and cereal, using only knives.

Well, the sad thing was that the pillowcase was fairly early noticed at the top of the flagpole and silverware was retrieved.

The watchman continued his absent-minded rounds and we began looking for something new to do to avoid studying and have some fun.

Merry Pranksters

Something someone else said in a comment on another blog I was just reading made me think of one of the best college pranks I can recollect. To add that it was pulled on a Dean of Men who was instrumental in ending my college career a year before made it all the better.

Here it is:

A new lawn was being sodded in front of "Old Main" . . . which doubled as office space for the higher-ups and classroom space for the lower-downs. One dark and stormy night (well, I guess it wasn't stormy at all) but it was early in the witching hours after midnight, after the one security guard for the campus had made his rounds, decided all was well and gone home to his bed. Someone climbed the outer wall to the second floor office of the Dean of Men, opened a window and crawled in. Opening the office door and the building door from the inside . . . who knows, maybe some pilfered keys were involved . . . this miscreant allowed his collaborators to enter. They carefully removed all of the furniture from the Dean's office to a hallway outside and then, using the rolled up sod outside, like wall to wall carpeting . . made a pretty green lawn in his office. Then they moved all the furniture back inside to it's precise previous location and, before locking the doors and leaving for the night, posted a "Keep Off the Grass" sign prominently just inside.

I can hear the suppressed giggles now as they crept down the hallways and out of the building, leaving no trace of their nocturnal work . . . except in the Dean's office!

From hundreds of miles away, I read about the stunt on the AP wire and applauded.

p.s. The Dean's unfortunate name was Perry Gallas. If anyone knows of his whereabouts and tells him of this story, please inform him that I had absolutely nothing to do with it. But I certainly would have!

1929 . . . and today

Back in the 1929 Financial Crash it was said that some Wall Street Stockbrokers and Bankers JUMPED from their office windows and committed suicide when confronted with the news of their firms and clients financial ruin . . . Many people were said to almost feel a little sorry for them . . . . . .

In 2008 the attitude has changed somewhat.

(I altered the sign for you more sensitive readers.)

Ponderisms

I know. This is the easy way out. When you don't want to talk about politics and you can't think of anything else to blog about you rely on your friends and e-mails and the "Internets". The sweet lady who sent me these by e-mail has a great sense of humor . . . or as she might write, "humour". So, with thanks to Meggie, here are some thoughts to ponder.


I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.'

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address?

Veterans' Day 2008

Well, he's not technically a veteran . . . but he's ours! That's our grandson, taking a break in Iraq. Don't ask why an Army sergeant is playing with a toy dinosaur. Some wise guy sent him that in a Christmas box, I think.

As for his veteran status. See he served a couple of hitches in the army, visiting such beautiful spots as Bosnia, Kuwait and Iraq before getting out. So, then he was a veteran.

But he later decided to go back into Uncle Sam's boys and girls club and he's back in Baghdad. But the latest we've heard is he is about to get rotated back to the states for awhile. He also says he's decided to re-up for another hitch in the Army. So it may be awhile before he's a full-time veteran and can play with his dinosaur whenever he wants to.

In the meantime, let's honor all of the veterans today . . . from all over the world.

More growth

This funky little convenience store is doomed.

Yes, the long-familiar Robert's Marketplace will soon be gone.

Some time in early 2009, the little red and white building will be torn down.

But wait! It will soon be replaced. By this:

The new, bigger Robert's Marketplace is being built just to the rear of the present structure. Along with much more space and a quite stylish look, it reportedly will house a pizza restaurant and a branch of the post office.

Meantime, just across the street, another nearly identical building is nearing completion. It will be an office complex housing medical and dental offices, according to owner Robert Hamill.

Hamill appears to have done well as he moves into becoming a real estate baron!

And it's nice to see some new buildings and some commerce finally coming to the "back side" of my town.

Takin' it back with Barack, Jack!

Yes. We. Can. - Yes. He. Did!

There's a new family heading to the White House in America.
Welcome!

Election Day 2008

Here it is, folks, the day we finally will find out who our next president will be here in the U.S. of A.

John McCain held a post-midnight rally at the courthouse square in Prescott this morning. He brought Senators Lindsay Graham and Joe Liebermann in with him and Hank Williams Jr. warmed up the crowd. I didn't attend because of the very late hour but the BRD's beau said he was going and might have some pictures for me.

Another note from a friend told me I had neglected to post about Sarah Palin's being cleared of ethics violations up in Alaska yesterday. So there. Now I have. The same day the governor released her long-promised medical records. Surprise. She's in good health.

As for the election, the first returns came in a little after 10 p.m. my time last night from Dixville Notch, New Hampshire. Obama had 15 votes, McCain 6. That's from the tiny settlement that hasn't voted for a Democrat since 1968 - - forty years ago.

So the day wears on. As for me, I am proud to say . . .

More Halloween horribles

These characters were all photographed wandering along Whiskey Row in Prescott, Arizona, on Halloween night, 2008.