Thursday, January 12, 2012


I've been thinkin'.  My dad used to say that.  When he did, SWMBO'S eyes would roll because she knew something weird was about to come out of his mouth.  So.  I'm his son.  And . . I've been thinkin'.

I am constantly amazed at the things that come out of Weird Old Ron Paul's mouth and the ideas that come out of his head.  Tonight, SWMBO and I came up with it.  Crazy Ross Perot.  They're both from Texas.  Their names have the same initials.  And their ideas are equally bull-goose-looney.  Weird Old Ron Paul sounds like a reincarnation of another guy who never could get elected president - William Jennings Bryan.  Except Weird Old Ron Paul supports returning us to the Gold Standard and Bryan wanted us to live on Free Silver.

Now then, let's get to the subject of dogs.  As you regular readers know, I'm a cat man.  But I have observed dogs and I believe I know them as well as the next man.  So . . hypothetically . . whereas Crazy Ross Perot most resembles a miniature Dachsund . . yap, yap, yap . . Weird Old Ron Paul is more like a Doberman Pinscher.  I mean let's face it . . he is about 6 foot 13, isn't he?  But compare the voices of Weird Old Ron Paul and Crazy Ross Perot.  Pretty similar, aren't they.  Yap, yap, yap.

Now to the rest of the field, if we can even honor them that way.  Jon Huntsman, the elegant but hopeless moderate in the race: a Weimaraner.  Grey as the ghost he shall soon be.

Newt Gingrich - (the fat little spider) - is either a Welsh Terrier or an English Bulldog.  Barking away, running in circles, but hopelessly hopeless.  Nasty little creature.

Rick Santorum - a Bloodhound.  Nose to the trail, trudging along, but his eyes give away his hopes.  Which are none.

Rick Perry - Oh, we do love to make fun of this Son of the Alamo, don't we?  I think he's a Boxer, throwing punches right and left but not hitting anything.  A loud bark but not much bite.  After all, he's confused about what he's supposed to be doing, in spite of his proud appearance.

And then there's Mitt Romney, the leader, the eventual nominee, the sacrificial lamb.  With his pedigree he can be nothing less than the Borzoi.  Beautiful to look at but not much else.  He will succeed in winning the nomination of a party that will be singing . . "the party's over."

Arf.  Bow wow. Grrr.  Snarl.  Goodbye G.O.P. hounds of hell.


Stephen Hayes said...

Fun comparisons, but to the detriment of the dogs, I think.

The Bug said...

That was fun. So what's Michelle Bachman?

Bruce Taylor, a.k.a. Catalyst said...

A Whippet, I think. But she's out of the race so it's no fair making fun of her anymore.

quilteddogs said...

Oh, this is totally unfair to the good name of these dogs. Bad man, bad.

Lowandslow said...

I insult to dogs everywhere. Let's face it, they're all much more closely kin to weasels. ;)


Bruce Taylor, a.k.a. Catalyst said...

I knew you people would turn on me eventually.

Tom Cochrun said...

Clever, but you do grievous harm to the English Bulldog!

Bernie said...

Still laughing, Romney put the family dog, an Irish Setter in a dog cage on top of his car and drove for hours from Boston to Ontario. He said the dog loved it, but the kids complained about brown stuff running down the back window, yup the dog loved it all right. Good ole Mitt pulled into a service station and hosed down the dog and the car and continued on his way....true story!

Bruce Taylor, a.k.a. Catalyst said...

Bernie - Gail Collins of the Neww York Times will never forget that trip AND will never stop mentioning it in any of her wonderful columns that mention Mitt by name.

Bruce Taylor, a.k.a. Catalyst said...

And Tom - just compare the physiognomies of Newt and the bulldog.