Specifically the stress you feel in your dreams.
Which meant that I had to plan and organize newscasts on a daily basis.
That involved writing, editing others' writing, picking visual elements and getting it all together in a timed package that fit into a certain number of minutes.
I left t.v. news way back in 1985.
But I occasionally still have what my wife and I jokingly call "The Producer Dream".
It's nearly always the same.
The clock has ticked down to the time for the newscast to begin and for a variety of reasons I have absolutely nothing prepared.
Sometimes I rush into the studio with a handful of "wire copy" (pages ripped from an A.P. or U.P.I. machine - though I doubt they even exist in this digital age).
There is no video, no photos, no stories from any of my reporters.
And I am in a total panic.
Then I wake up and realize it was only a dream.
I don't know why I have these dreams more than 30 years after I left that profession behind.
But yesterday I was reading an essay by the best selling and honored Japanese writer Haruki Murakami.
He related his history with his father, who was a very intelligent and disciplined man, graduating from university with honors and becoming a teacher.
Murakami said when he was young he was not interested in school and learning and his father became more and more upset by this to the extent that they did not see each other for more than 20 years.
And then I read this passage which leaped off the page at me:
I still have nightmares in which I have to take a test and can't answer a single question. Time ticks away as I do nothing, though I'm well aware that failing the test will have major consequences -- that sort of dream. I usually wake up in a cold sweat.
Judy had read this article before I did and when I asked her about it we both laughed as she exclaimed: "The Producer Dream!"
We have talked with other people over the years and found that seemingly everyone has their own particular stress dream.
I'm just glad it's not only me.
REM sleep, when dreams occur is usually during the last stages of sleep, the period around 4-7am. During this period the body pumps out adrenaline and other cortisone type neurostimulents that increase the BP, heart rate, and contract blood vessels in the heart, raising the risk of heart attack.
ReplyDeleteNever had one like that, I have had more than enough claustrophobic dreams over the years.
ReplyDeleteI have often dreamt that I am in school and haven't done an assignment and wake up in a panic!
ReplyDeleteMine is taking a final exam in college for a subject where I never went to class and never bought the book.
ReplyDeleteI have teacher dreams. Retired in 2008, my dreams are vivid. Sometimes I am teaching in a bombed out building. Other dreams are equally dealing-with-disasters-in teaching.
ReplyDeleteMy dad still occasionally dreams about his UPS delivery route, and just the other day Dr. M's dad said he spent the night weighing trucks (he worked as an enforcement officer at interstate weigh stations). I haven't really had work related stress dreams, but I have definitely had the not prepared for a test dream. Sometimes I'm in my pajamas, sometimes I can't find the classroom, sometimes I never went to a single class but now I have to take the exam... ugh.
ReplyDeleteI had the same sort of theatre dreams for years after I quit that. Dylan has school and army dreams like that. I had work dreams last night, frustrating dreams where I can't get what I need and everything is contaminated.
ReplyDeleteMy reoccurring stress dream is being on a beach with a tidal wave coming in. I found out it is a common dream and represents feelings of being overtaken by the world.
ReplyDeleteHave had a very similar dream, both radio and tv. Guess that deadline stress is deeply ingrained.
ReplyDeleteI rarely remember my dreams, though one that occasionally turns up is being in a cavern around a bonfire, and there are dragons, trolls, knights, ogres, giants... and we're all singing 'take me out to the ballgame.'
ReplyDelete...and teachers have teacher dreams. Yes, like you, starting the day with nothing ready.
ReplyDeleteAs a former teacher/coach, I have dreams that some of my players break into my house, and are standing over my bed, demanding to know who the starters are for the next game. I also have dreams that I get to school, and my classroom has been given to someone else, or rearranged, and the students don't know who I am.
ReplyDeleteI don't usually talk about dreams, but welcome this opportunity. I have been retired for 10 years, but still wake up at 5 a.m., look at the clock and inwardly declare,"There IS NO such hour!" Then sleep 'til 9. I liked my job, but there is, from keeping hours set by unreasonable employers, a cumulative trauma that claims residual residence in our minds.
ReplyDeleteThis was an interesting read & I totally get it--I "early retired" in December 2014 (I maintained various pricing databases for a large healthcare insurer, it was crazy-stressful much of the time) and to this day, sometimes have dreams where 1) I get a 'work notice' like a jury duty notice, saying I must report back to work 2) my old desk has been moved into my apartment 3) I get out of bed and my former boss is waiting for me in my livingroom. Its been a couple years aince I've had one, sure hope I dont have them 30 years from now!
ReplyDeleteI have them quite often and it's very disturbing. I don't have the same dream but just dreams where I can't seem to accomplish what I've set out to do and I'm frustrated by it. Sometimes they are silly and other times I wake up with my heart pounding. Why can't I have a dream where I'm enjoying a tour of Paris or having dinner with friends in London. That would be way more fun.
ReplyDeleteI know that kind of dream only too well. Mine, when they happen, take the form of, "I haven't done enough swotting for that maths exam." Or, "Well the hell did I park my car (in a strange town)." Incidentally, the last time I sat an advanced maths exam was over fifty years ago.
ReplyDeleteI used to have stress dreams like that. Some impending deadline and I was absolutely not ready in any way. I may still have dreams like that, but I stopped being able to remember my dreams after a "neurological event" in 2011.
ReplyDeleteDid you work in TV in Arizona? My first husband was a videographer for the CBS affiliate in Phoenix in the 1980s.
Robin, yes I worked for the NBC affiliate in Phoenix from 1972 to 1985. I may have known your ex. Do you mind telling me his name?
ReplyDeleteCatalyst-- I check my memory which has its many faults lately. My ex (Gregory Mansur) worked at the CBS affiliate in 1986-87. We had been living in Boulder/Denver 1981-1985. Then a year in San Francisco while he tried to get work at the NBC affiliate there. Then came Phoenix. We lasted a year there. Then a year in Rhode Island. Then I divorced him. LOL!
ReplyDeleteRobin, apparently we just missed each other.
ReplyDelete