Mr. Bill's Laws of the Perversity of Nature
Nature sides with the hidden flaw.
You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
If you drop your toast it always falls with the jam side down.
If it doesn't, you put your jam on the wrong side.
The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down
is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
Mr. Bill's Law of Selective Gravity
An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
Mr. Bill's Laws of Selective Physics
It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize you are in a hurry.
If it jams ‑ force it. If you can't force it, get a larger hammer.
If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
Whenever you are looking for a standard screwdriver; You will find a phillips
Whenever you are looking for a phillips screwdriver; You will find a standard.
Mr. Bill's Laws of Infernal Dynamics
An object in motion will be headed in the wrong direction.
An object at rest will be in the wrong place.
A wire cut to length will be too short.
It works better if you plug it in.
If a project is not worth doing at all, it's not worth doing well.
The solution to a problem changes the problem.
When working towards the solution of a problem,
it always helps if you know the answer.
Inside every small problem is a large problem struggling to get out.
The trouble with resisting temptation is it may never come again.
Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.
A taxpayer is someone who doesn't have to take a civil service exam
to work for the government.
All things being equal, a fat person uses more soap than a thin person.
Infinity is one lawyer waiting for another.
Murphy was an optimist.
Nature sides with the hidden flaw.
You cannot successfully determine beforehand which side of the bread to butter.
If you drop your toast it always falls with the jam side down.
If it doesn't, you put your jam on the wrong side.
The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down
is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
Mr. Bill's Law of Selective Gravity
An object will fall so as to do the most damage.
Mr. Bill's Laws of Selective Physics
It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize you are in a hurry.
If it jams ‑ force it. If you can't force it, get a larger hammer.
If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway.
When all else fails, read the instructions.
Whenever you are looking for a standard screwdriver; You will find a phillips
Whenever you are looking for a phillips screwdriver; You will find a standard.
Mr. Bill's Laws of Infernal Dynamics
An object in motion will be headed in the wrong direction.
An object at rest will be in the wrong place.
A wire cut to length will be too short.
It works better if you plug it in.
If a project is not worth doing at all, it's not worth doing well.
The solution to a problem changes the problem.
When working towards the solution of a problem,
it always helps if you know the answer.
Inside every small problem is a large problem struggling to get out.
The trouble with resisting temptation is it may never come again.
Life is what happens to you while you're making other plans.
Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.
A taxpayer is someone who doesn't have to take a civil service exam
to work for the government.
All things being equal, a fat person uses more soap than a thin person.
Infinity is one lawyer waiting for another.
Murphy was an optimist.
