MONDAY FACEBOOK FUNNIES

Stuff I swiped from Facebook today:

Here a few things you should never say to a man with whom you are having any kind of serious relationship:

"I spent all the money.  All of it.  On Cher tickets."

"I was thinking of gaining 40 pounds.  I'm feeling anorexic."

And: "I told the two guys from the Vegas Sports Book that you are no longer interested in paying the Viggorish.  That was OK.  Right?"

(Thanks to Meggie, Tom and Catherine for finding them first)

HERE COMES HALLOWEEN

This house just a block away from where I live houses more than one child.  Perhaps even some adult children.  They are ready for the ghosts and ghouls to come visiting.

I can still remember a day when Halloween conjured up happy jack'o'lanterns like these.

But nowadays the images are more like these.

Apparently the modern theme is "the scarier the better."

Whatever your wont, Happy Halloween everyone.

JUST FLUTTERING ABOUT

This little ghostly butterfly, white with grey spots, is not nearly as large as he appears in the still photo.  He was getting his fill from the lantana in our front yard.

SO SORRY

HAPPY HOLIDAYS

According to my calendar, today is September 27th.  We've just passed the Labor Day weekend.  It's over a month until Halloween.  It's about two months until Thanksgiving.  And nearly three months until Christmas rolls around once again.

Actually I just studied my calendar and it's 90 days until Christmas.  But it's never too soon for the folks at Walmart, apparently.  I was in a neighborhood Walmart store today and here's what caught my eye.

I took a second look and realized those are artificial Christmas trees, already decorated with lights and on sale NOW!

But wait, there's more!

Yes, the weather has broken but it's still 85 degrees outside.  And the Christmas decorations have already gone on sale.

I can remember being amazed when Thanksgiving "stuff" went on sale before Halloween had passed.  But this display today truly bumfuzzled me.  I was left with mouth agape.  But I recovered in time to take these pictures and remember this old bit of doggerel.

Roses are red,

Violets are blue-ish.

If it wasn't for Christmas

We'd all be Jewish.

As the sign says, Merry Christmas everyone!

WHY WE HATE FLORIDA

As I said before, SWMBO has been in Florida for half a week, Venice in fact.  It's aptly named, considering the weather she's been experiencing down there.  Thunderstorm after thunderstorm.  In our telephone conversation today she said they came by a road today divided by a grassy median.  Water was running curb to curb in the street.  Several trucks had pulled up onto the median, leaving huge muddy ruts in the grass.  Then a fancy car tried to do the same thing and got stuck in the mud.

I can remember years ago when SWMBO first went to Florida.  She said she could take a shower, get out, dry off and minutes later be drenched in sweat again.  Her hair never dried out or became uncrimped.

Meantime, the weather back home in Arizona is breaking, finally.  It's 86 outside right now as I'm writing this just after 7 in the evening.  You may think that's hot but it's been over 100 at this time of night for three months or more.  And our humidity right now is 12 percent.  In Venice, where SWMBO is right now it's 82 percent.

I stepped outside to get the mail.  Several twosomes came by, out for an evening constitutional, enjoying the "cooler" weather.

I guess it's whatever you adapt to.  SWMBO's sister has lived on the Gulf Coast of Florida for probably 40 years or more and, apparently, loves it.  We have lived various places but most of them relatively dry for about the same amount of time and we love it.

But after an ill-advised attempt to live in Austin, Texas awhile back, I can testify that we could never live in a humid location again.

'Course, we have friends and relatives who think we're a mite daft for living in the desert where the temperature climbs and climbs for a fourth of the year.  But like my realtor told me awhile back . . . "those other 8 months, man, they are bliss!"

Oh, and by the way, SWMBO comes home tomorrow!  Now, that is bliss!

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE

I just emailed my friend Tom, in California, about the family travels.  It went something like this.

SWMBO has been in Venice, Florida, since Saturday night visiting her sister, who had her 83rd birthday today.  When I spoke to her this evening she said there were two thunderstorms there today, in between of which they went to the beach and the pier so SWMBO could see the ocean (Gulf of Mexico).  She said she had to drive through standing water on the streets to get back to her motel and added that they had more rain there just today than Phoenix has had all year!  Highlight of the day: a white egret (hell, I don't know, maybe they're all white) walked right up to the house during one of the storms.

Meantime, the BRD and her Beau Jack are in the Turks and Caicos Islands for the wedding of one of BJ's sons.

As for me, I drove about a mile or less to the grocery store and back.