I have decided, after much consideration of the ins and outs, that I shall not, this year, seek the presidency of the United States. I'm sure you're all disappointed but, as New Jersey Governor Chris Christy said yesterday, "now is not my time."
I think you should know that I have put in virtually no thought to running for president. I have not discussed it with my wife or children or her children or my grandchildren or her grandchildren. Neither have I mentioned it to my brother or his children (my nieces and nephews) or any of their children.
None of my friends have been consulted about this great decision. I don't have a pastor but if I did I can assure you that he would not have been consulted either.
Nor would my psychiatrist, if I had one. Nor any of my doctors, of which I have too many.
No, this has been totally my decision, reached after I stopped laughing when I just read that Sarah Palin has decided that she won't run for president in 2012 either.
Needless to say, I am still happy to accept any monetary donations that my friends, families and followers would care to send me.
Gosh darn it, this is shaping up to be quite a politicial season, isn't it?