FROSTING AND FOGEYISM

 We have long since given up staying awake to see a new year come into being.

In fact I didn't even make it until 2022 reached the east coast of the United States last night, some two hours ahead of here in Arizona.

So I was surprised this morning to see what the young cherub had brought with him.

A frosting of fresh snowfall.

Just tickling the shrubbery, the rooftops, the streets and the hills, it produced a nice panorama in the fresh morning light.

And that brings us to my second topic today.

You will recall my railing on about a recent jigsaw puzzle with a puzzling missing piece.

A piece that I opined had been left out of the mix when the pieces (499 of them) were sealed in the box.

The deviousness, the cravenness, the sheer maddening meanness of the shipper that would do such a thing.

Her Nibs, the daughter who gifted us this puzzle, criticized me harshly, insisting that the piece would be found in one of my pockets or shoes or on a nearby shelf or still in the packaging.

Well, yesterday SWMBO (the giftor's mother) took the puzzle apart and boxed it up and I took down the card table and put it away.

And a bit later, what did she discover?

Look carefully.

The light is a bit better now that the table has been moved but there . . . oh, it agonizes me to say this . . was this.

You can see how the color of the underside, in the shadow cast by the now moved table, would have disguised it from two sets of searching but aged eyes.

When it is turned over and placed on a black background you can see it is . . . .the missing puzzle piece.

So I apologize all around for my rants.

I shall lick my wounds and retire to my lair, shame wrapped around me like a cloak.

I gave the puzzle piece . . . the 500th piece . . . back to my long-suffering wife.

Hmmmm, I wonder if she put it back in the box with the others . . . or tossed it in the trash.

Would she?

Could she?

THE FRIDAY FUNNIES

 Here it is at last.

The final day of 2021, or as Queen Elizabeth might say, another annus horribilis.

Another year of Covid, storms, fires, heat, cold and capped off by my terrible experience with a jigsaw puzzle.

But enough about that.

Let us gird our loins, hitch up our bootstraps, lift up our chins and charge merrily and boldly into 2022.

Just watch your heads.

And so, as the band plays off into the distance, we bid a not-so-fond adieu to another year and gaze hopefully into the future.

Now remember, it's a time for one last wonderful weekend full of oysters, champagne, egg nog, steak and lobster, and sweets beyond compare.

Sweets like the dessert prepared by my friend in Colorado, Jolly Jeanne, aka Beaner, recently.

It's all edible, including the stars, and I won't trouble you with the ingredients but will tell you it makes SWMBO's teeth hurt just to hear about them.

So enjoy, Happy New Year and always recall to keep laughing!

Here, kitty-kitty . . .

NO SOLUTION

 Remember, if you will, what I said about the jigsaw puzzle ODD (Our Demented Daughter) forced on us as a Christmas "gift" this year.

Remember, if you will, what I said about a piece possibly left missing.

The puzzle was completed a few moments ago.

Here is a picture of the insane enigma some mad artist created.

As in any photos displayed on this blog, clicking on them will embiggen them.

You will perceive then the beauty of the wildlife, both flora and fauna, shown here by the mad genius of the creator.

But let me show you something else.

Let me show you a close-up of one portion of this "entertaining puzzle".

Look carefully.

Yes!

Yes, my Readers!

It is a blank space!

A black hole!

Where one of the FIVE HUNDRED pieces of this infernal mind-plagluer was supposed to fit!

Was it on the table?

Was it on the floor?

Was it in the box?

Nay, nay!

It was MISSING!

Just as I suspected.

The parlayer of this "entertaining puzzle" had left it out!

Misplaced it!

Do not misunderstand me.

I am not blaming the daughter.

The puzzle was inside a sealed box, encased in plastic film, never having been opened since the dastardly factory shipped it.

But this is not playing fair, ladies and gentlemen.

This is playing with our sanity; more importantly MY sanity.

This is a danger to the National (or more likely, International) Morality.

I weep for the young people of tomorrow who shall undertake jigsaw puzzling, only to be cheated of their victories.

Is nothing sacred anymore?

NASTY GIRL

 As noted by careful readers of at least one message on the refrigerator door of my wife's daughter yesterday, the BRD (Beautiful Rich Daughter) does have a vicious streak.

It was expressed cruelly at her Christmas Eve brunch when she presented her mother with an unexpected gift.

A jigsaw puzzle.

She knows, oh yes she knows, how I hate jigsaw puzzles.

I can't stay away from them, no matter how hard I try to ignore them.

So there I go again, erecting the card table for SWMBO (She Who Must Be Obeyed) to dump out the pieces and begin the work.

I hide in front of my computer or try to watch a football game on the television but eventually my eyes are drawn to that damnable mess on the table in the kitchen.

And before long, I am joining my wife at the torture of seeking out pieces that do not belong, or pieces that obviously have fallen off the table and have been kicked under the refrigerator, or pieces that the puzzlemaster surely has left out of the box.

Yesterday, I think it was though all awareness of time has vanished like the missing puzzle pieces, this was our progress on the enigma in our formerly happy home.

It's a little futher along now but we still have miles, miles I say sadly, to go before we sleep.

(to be continued)

A PEEK INSIDE

 The BRD's refrigerator door recently.

Does it reflect the lady?

I think so.

(If you can't read the words, clicking on the picture will embiggen it.)

WEATHER

 Yesterday the sky looked like this.

And this morning the ground looked like this.

IS IT STILL CHRISTMAS?

 Not to be outdone by Carol the Comic, one of my other main contributors to the Oddball Comedy Vault, Wacky Wally, has chimed in with several holiday offerings.

Behold!

 

LOOKING BACK

 

IF YOU'RE CELEBRATING . . .

 

To all of my friends, both old and new, may you have the very best that the holiday season brings.

No joke.

THE FRIDAY FUNNIES

 Christmas Eve Edition.

All right, all right, let's not get a-head of ourselves.

If you're still shopping for Christmas presents, the clock is ticking.

If you're wrapping Christmas presents, you still have a little bit more time.

If you're into the Christmas Egg Nog already, you probably can't read this so let's go to the pictures.

So, all of you Christmas Critters, there you have it, the special edition of The Friday Funnies just for the holiday.

Now, if your various duties aren't done yet . . and whose are, really . . better get to it but remember to take a moment now and then to truly enjoy the days ahead.

And always remember to keep laughing!

Here, kitty-kitty . . .

(. . and your friends . .)

THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS

 Please join me in thanking one of my most prolific contributors to the Comedy Vault, Carol the Comic, for this timely message.

PUDDING HEADS

 You'd think with all the cookies we've been baking and that huge food assortment we got from Judy's son recently that we wouldn't have to have more, wouldn't you?

Well, you'd think wrong!

I had picked up a package of what were billed as brioche buns recently but after eating one we decided they didn't live up to their billing.

SWMBO had said she could turn them into bread pudding and yesterday I asked if it was something I could make and she studied me carefully and replied in the affirmative.

So I prepared it, with a splash of some frozen blueberries in the mix and put it into the refrigerator to "meld the flavors", as the chefs are wont to say.

This morning it came out and went into the oven and about 45 minutes later it came out, hot and steamy and smelling wonderfully of cinnamon and vanilla.

It was a little crusty on top but that gave it a nice crunch before getting to the sweet, creamy filling.

Judy topped hers with some Greek yogurt.

I opted for some whipped topping.

I think mine looks better, don't you?

Either way, we agreed it was delicious.

A breakfast for the holidays.

THE GRAYEST OF DAYS

 It's D-Day, i.e. Depression Day.

The First Day of Winter.

It arrived today with characteristicly gloomy skies but thankfully no snow.

No sign of the sun this morning but there is one note of brightness on the horizon.

The all-knowing Google tells me that beginning tomorrow the days will be ever longer, leading us onward to the joy of Spring.

In the meantime, Judy's old wreath is once again decorating our front door, beckoning to any wayward Santas in the neighborhood.

OMG, IT'S MONDAY

 I decided to try something in the kitchen this morning that the New York Times' Sam Sifton would call a No-Recipe Recipe.

So I threw a slosh of EVOO into a saute pan, broke a couple of eggs into a large mixing cup, tossed in a fairly large pinch of salt, some Cayenne pepper and then decided I needed something green and some additional flavor.

I went to the spice rack and grabbed a bottle of Herbs de Provence, twisted the cap off and shook the bottle liberally over my egg mixture.

That is when I found that particular bottle of herbs doesn't have a shaker top.

A good three tablespoons or more of Herbs de Provence now coated the top of my breakfast mix.

As I told SWMBO later when I was relating this saga, I didn't scream obscenities or pound the counter.

Just a quiet "Oh, shit" and then I got a teaspoon and scooped the excess off and threw it in the sink.

After beating this mess up, I poured it into the skillet, let it set slightly and then pressed a flour tortilla down onto it.

The idea is that the egg mixture will adhere to the tortilla which one can then lift out of the pan with a spatula, fold it and dig in.

All of that went fine except when I tasted it it seemed to have a non-discernible flavor of salt or cayenne and only a faint flavor of the Herbs de Provence, though that was the prominent taste.

I ate it anyway, though not with any real relish.

On a brighter front we heard from our management company this morning and learned that a week from Wednesday a crew will arrive with two new HVAC units and a crane to hoist them to the roof.

Installation will all be done in one day, they say, and our heating and air-conditioning problems should be solved.

As will our neighbor, Bill's, though he told me the other day he's had no problem with heating.

Both units were nearly 20 years old and he said that's about the life span of them so they were due to be replaced.

So that's my Monday. 

How's yours going?

VACCINE THOUGHTS

 Health care professionals say 44 percent of people of all ages in my county have been vaccinated to protect them from the Coronavirus.

The hospitals are filled to capacity and people continue to die.

Over 900 in just my county so far.

And yet . . .

In our consumer society, one Internet meme offers a solution.

In spite of these sardonic thoughts, the Coronavirus is no laughing matter.

Get vaccinated and get your booster jabs.

Please.