THE FRIDAY FUNNIES

( . . . heard on the grapevine . . . )

"Gawd, at last we've got Christmas and that daily onslaught of cartoons about Santa Claus and reindeer and elves and lighted trees out of the way and we can finally achieve some normality!"

Yes, and you know what comes with normality, don't you?

But of course!

It's The Friday Funnies!

And that, Dear Friends and Gentle Readers, is all I've got for this week.

So now we look ahead, to Christmas leftovers, to New Year's makeovers, and in our dreams, 2024 do-overs.

Have a great weekend!

And always remember to keep laughing!

Here, kitty-kitty . . .

( . . . oooohhhh, some of you just can't get enough . . . )

CHRISTMAS DAY 2024

 

Seasons Greetings

Happy Holidays

Yuletide Greetings

Feliz Navidad

Joyeux Noël

Joyous Kwanzaa

Happy Hanukkah

and the very best to all!

Especially to my diligent, hard working Humor Elves who have provided the material that keeps this blog alive (barely).

And just to give them their very best props, here are some of their latest finds.

Ho-Ho-Ho!

And finally (to quote an old friend of mine), here's one of my favorites this year and one to perhaps puzzle you for awhile.

(I'll provide the answer if no one figures it out)

THE EVE IS UPON US

Can you hear that sigh of relief washing across the globe?

Christmas Eve is finally here.

A day of preparation in kitchens.

A day of last minute desperation shopping by men.

A last day, or maybe a half day, of schooling.

A day when Catalyst can turn away from his ghastly long Christmas Comedy Cavalcade.

But the work is not over for one man and a yoked crew of deer as a long night beckons.

So let's see how it's shaping up.

Ho-Ho-Ho!

DAY FIFTEEN??!!!!

Did any of you ever think it would reach this level of mediocrity?

The 15th consecutive day of Catalyst's Christmas Comedy Cavalcade!

If not for my elves bombarding the doors of the Humor Bank I probably would have quit a long time ago.

But we who serve must suffer in pain, never showing the complete consternation and confusion and lack of civility this is causing Catalyst, Christmas and Comedy, constantly.

So can we continue?

We can.

What?

Isn't that guy out of place?

Oh well.

(-groan-)

I'm sorry.

No I'm not.

Oh, man.

Calling birds, French hens.

I'm glad some of us have low expectations for Christmas.

Ho-Ho-Ho

SUNDAY SERENADE

You've all heard this old sweet song before but . . .

"Here comes Santa Claus, Here comes Santa Claus . . ."

Oh, what's that?

It's too soon?

Oh, yeah, I guess it is.

It's only the 22nd of December and since Santa moves at the speed of light, I guess I'll just have to content my conscience with another couple of days of Catalyst's Christmas Comedy Challenge!

Ho-Ho-Ho

SATURDAY SALUTE

It's finally arrived.

Oh, no, not Christmas.

You still are blessed with a few more days of the Catalyst's Christmas Comedy Cavalcade.

What HAS finally arrived is . . . (drum roll) . . . THE WINTER SOLSTICE!

The shortest day of the year.

Beginning tomorrow each day will have a little more sunshine!

I guess I'd better hurry out and water the cacti.

Oh and I'd better look for a job while I'm out there for once again the Lottery Gods looked down and decided I was not yet worthy.

I got zero numbers on last night's drawing for an estimated 862 million bucks.

Sigh.

But nobody else won it and the next jackpot is estimated to be 944 million dollars and the drawing is on CHRISTMAS EVE!

How can I miss, right?

While I'm counting the zeros in my next windfall, let's take a look at what the Comedy Elves have found for this 13th day of humor before Christmas.

Ho-Ho-Ho

THE FRIDAY FUNNIES

It's Friday again and Day Twelve of (will it never end?) Catalyst's Christmas Comedy Cavalcade.

This is the last Friday before the Big Day so you can expect to get totally inundated with holiday crassness and pseudo-hilarity.

But wait!

Santa is coming early to the Catalyst's humble abode.

In fact tonight, this very night!

For tonight is the night that I shall have the winning ticket for the MegaMillions Jackpot Drawing.

825 Million Smackeroos will be mine before the sun rises again!

Wait! You say you've heard this before?

Well that was just an error of accounting.

Either the people drawing the numbers or (perhaps) in my reporting the news.

But tonight, I am sure, will be different.

Then you'll see!

Whilst you wait, let's see what the Humor Elves have dredged up for this sunny Friday.

Phew!

Now that you've had that dose of dizzy, dopey daffiness, dine well this weekend and make it memorable.

Oh, and there are only five more shopping days until Christmas!!!!

And don't get the holiday blues . . . always remember to keep laughing!

Here kitty-kitty . . .

( . . . oh, I see the family has arrived for the holidays . . . )