(thanks to Ribald Roger for this and hundreds more)
My, my, my, it's December already.
SWMBO said the other evening that she couldn't believe it's already December.
Some of us are thankful it IS December already.
But also thankfully, it is FRIDAY and I have some humor (humour, Brits) for you so let's get at it, shall we.
I bet you thought you'd seen all the puns today, didn't you?
Not so, frowny-faces, I saved the best (and the newest - thanks, Wacky Wally) for the last.
Brace yourselves.
Hahahahahaha!
(Feel free to join in.)
Wacky Wally doesn't waffle, he's a wicked, wileful worker as he wanders willfully in the woody wonderland of wordsmithery, wending his way to the worst of the World Wide Web.
And for that, I thank him!
Now, let's all have a sensational weekend.
Work on your Christmas greetings, STAY AT HOME, wear your masks and be safe.
There's a new year a-comin'.
Oh, and always remember to keep laughing!
Here, kitty-kitty . . .
(uh-oh)
Sometimes you just have to get out.
SWMBO and I have been pretty much cooped up in our little duplex apartment since last February.
We've taken a few little drives in those many long months but probably too few even for us, who have been trying to obey the rules designed to keep us alive.
But then there's the problem of cabin fever.
As I said, sometimes you just have to get out.
So we (with Judy at the wheel) took a longer drive today.
SWMBO is a fan of Rachel Madow's show on MSNBC.
I am not.
But tonight I happened to be in the room when the show started and when Rachel said she was going to start in Arizona I stopped to see what she had to say.
I assumed it would be about state officials certifying the election vote for Joe Biden and might include something about Crazy Rudy Giuliani's appearance in Phoenix today.
It did.
But moreso, it made a laughing stock of my Governor, Doug "Ducky" Ducey.
I was doing some preparatory work in the kitchen this morning prior to making a loaf of bread when I heard this repeated little chirp.
I glanced around the kitchen and could see no appliance or clock making that noise.
But then I heard it again.
This time I went to the door of SWMBO's room to see if she was listening to something on her computer.
Nope.
So, back to the kitchen, thinking maybe the kids next door were playing outside and that was what I was hearing.
Then I began to hear a louder sound, a clattering that I soon discovered was coming from the door to the garage.
Thinking perhaps Santa Claus was making a reconnaisance run I went over and opened the door.
A very puffy, cold Matty, the cross-the-street neighbor's cat, ran into the house!
He apparently had gone in our garage when I had the door open last night and I never saw him.
He had spent the night in our garage!
He was obviously glad to be rescued and to see one of his human friends again as he rubbed and rubbed on my legs.
Judy said to give him an extra dose of cat treats and then put him out so he can go home.
He got his treats and then went into the garage (which now had the big door open) but he was hesitant.
I walked to the doorway with him and he looked around but then when I headed back in he beat me to the door!
So I let him in again and then walked to the slider door in Judy's room.
That's the door he usually uses as he enters our home.
He went to it, looked out, sniffed the air and turned around.
He was not ready to leave yet.
So we went back to the living room and I gave him some catnip in front of the fireplace and he ate some and rolled around in the rest.
And now he's on our couch, which is where he takes his naps.
He'll probably be there most of the day.
Our friend Matty.
Is everybody feeling stuffed this morning?
Or ready for left-overs?
Whichever it is, I hope you Americans had a lovely Thanksgiving and the rest of you are glad all the hullabaloo from "the colonies" is over.
Of course, there's always . . .
Word is there's somethin' goin' on tomorrow.
And, as always, watch out for the kitties.
Have a great feast and a Happy Thanksgiving, everbody!
You say you're going to travel far and wide for the Thanksgiving and/or Christmas holidays?
Take the advice of this guy.
Yes, it's Monday, once again.
I don't know why that seems to appear to me as a Blue Monday because I've been retired for y-e-a-r-s.
One day is pretty much just like the next to me, especially since we're holed up with the Corona virus raging all around us.
So we stay isolated and take the necessary precautions.
It's not so bad.
I went out to fill the birdbath a little while ago and though the temperature is only in the low 60's the sunshine felt warm and pleasant so I sat in a chair at the edge of the patio and practiced a little meditation and deep breathing.
With my eyes mostly closed and concentrating on slowing down my thoughts I began to hear the sounds around me - a dog yipping next door, an airplane droning overhead, a car going by, and mostly the sweet sound of silence.
Oh yeah, I meant to apologize for my subtle complaint about the temperature only being in the low 60's.
I know some of you who live in colder climes will find that offensive.
But just to rub it in a little more I will note that I was not wearing socks and was attired only in blue jeans and a t-shirt.
Yesterday I went to our local Panda Express and brought home some Orange Chicken, Fried Rice, Cream Cheese Rangoons for me and a Chicken egg roll for Judy.
We hadn't had that type of food for a long time and it tasted good.
Later, after a couple of naps, we watched some episodes of "The Queen's Gambit" on Netflix.
We're both enjoying it and Judy told me this morning that she had just seen an article on the Web about the surge in sales of chess sets since the program began airing!
I recall playing chess myself many years ago but never got into it enough to play other than a defensive game.
Guess I just don't have the attack gene.
Well, that's what my life has been like lately.
What's going on in yours?
SWMBO said yesterday evening, "We're running low on bread."
Being an understanding husband to this woman of nearly 50 years, I hied me to the kitchen this morning.
Fresh from the bread machine . . .
It's a great day!
Not only is it Friday but just look at that date.
Say it to yourself.
No, better yet, say it out loud.
Shout it out!
Eleven-twenty, twenty-twenty!!!
There, now don't you feel just a teench better?
And now that people are staring at you anyway let's put big smiles on your faces with some funnies!
Did you have trouble with that one?
It took me awhile too so I'll spell it out for you.
See, it's Bob the Spoon, Ernie the Fork and Mac the . . .
Okay, stop throwing things, here's an easier one.
Okay with that one from the bottom of my sole (soul), I will call a halt to these proceedings.
Now enjoy your weekend, Gentle Readers, and always remember to keep laughing!
Here, kitty-kitty . . .
(KITTY, KITTY, DO YOU HEAR ME???)
On this date in 1863 President Abraham Lincoln delivered "a little speech", as he later called it, at the dedication of a military cemetery in Pennsylvania.
Only a few hundred words delivered in only a few minutes.
But the Gettysburg Address became one of the most famous speeches in American history.
Now just to go from the sublime to the ridiculous, it was also on this date but in the year 1975 that one of my favorite movies was first shown in movie theaters.