SAT'R'DAY

 To those of you who expressed concern about my eye surgery yesterday, rest assured that I am, indeed, alive and well after the grueling episode.

Actually I exaggerate.

It wasn't grueling at all except for a few seconds when the fancy, dancy laser beam was repairing one end of my retinal tear and came close to a nerve.

But the rest of the roughly 10 minute procedure was a breeze.

I don't think my vision is quite as good as indicated by this piece of office decor at the clinic where my "work" was done but then I've used it (my vision)  for many, many years.

Now, on another note, I knew the "Alice Kramden" reference in one of yesterday's cartoons would go over the heads of any young readers I might have but I had forgotten that it might also evade the understanding of my visitors from outside of the United States.

So let me explain.

Back in the early days of television here in the United States, there was a comedy show called "The Honeymooners", which starred Jackie Gleason.

Gleason played a bus driver in Brooklyn named Ralph Kramden who had a volatile but comic temper.

On many episodes he would blow up during arguments with his wife Alice, played by Audrey Meadows, and making a fist he would mime a punch and bellow at her something like "One of these days, Alice, POW! Right in the kisser!"

One of his favorite lines was "To the moon, Alice, to the moon!", implying that he would hit her hard enough to send her to the moon.

She was never alarmed by these threats and would usually respond with "Aw, shaddup," i.e. "shut up".

Anyway that's how, in the cartoon yesterday, Alice Kramden beat the U.S. astronauts to the moon.

Sorry for the confusion, Gentle Readers.

Oh, and if you're so inclined, you can find a short video clip of Ralph and Alice by Googling: "to the moon, Alice".

THE FRIDAY FUNNIES

 Isn't this fun?

Just living through the week, counting the seconds, minutes, hours, days and nights until you can open up my blog and learn that IT'S FRIDAY AGAIN!!!

Well, it sure is for me.

Fun, that is.

As well as Friday.

I suppose I could begin each one of these weekly forays into funniness by just saying TGIF and launching the cartoons.

But that's not my way.

I like to amble aimlessly into the arcade of amusement.

Keeping you all in suspense for a bit

Before I say the magic words.

No, not "Shazam" or "Abracadabra" or "Presto".

No, the words "HIT IT!"

Awwwww-right!

Now you're feelin' better, aren't ya'?

I'm off to the eye surgeon who's going to blast my right eye with the killer laser ray to repair (he says) a horseshoe-shaped tear in my retina.

I'll be seeing you (he said pluckily).

But whatever, have yourselves an absolutely extravagantly sensational weekend.

And always remember to keep laughing!

Here, kitty-kitty . . .

(aw, c'mon . . .)

HE'S DONE IT AGAIN!

 Oh, the elves have been busy this week, filling my Humor Archives to a gut-busting level.

One of the most active is a long-time friend, known here only as Wacky Wally.

Earlier in the week he informed us of an odds on day far in the future.

Today, he has offered up another sly observation.

An oddball observation, some might say.

But let's say no more about it.

Let's just show you what his curious mind has found.

 I don't know about you but I love these things.

Thanks again, Wally.

DOCTOR VISITS

 This post is for those of you who may have added on some years.

In other words, you who have grown older

I have found that it seems thast the older I get the less healthy I become.

I can't decide if that's just a natural progression or an accumulation of illness brought about by the past sins I committed and challenges I foisted on my poor body.

But I know as I've aged it seems I have more and more doctors and more and more visits to keep up with.

When the people in my cardiology office tell me I've got 7 or 8 or 9 years until my Pacemaker's battery will run down and I'll need to have the device changed I think (and sometimes say) "Do you people know how old I am?"

What makes them think I'll live that long?

But I don't want to put you in a dark mood as the sun is finally shining in my town today.

So let me share something another one of my hard-working elves, Comical Carol, provided to me this morning.

It plays on ANOTHER problem with Modern Day (Witchcraft) Medicine.

Let's all keep on laughing!

I CAN'T WAIT

 One of my chief elves, Wonderful Wacky Wally has been probing the internet again and came up with this wonderfully wacky factoid that seems just right for today.

MLK DAY

 

Just a couple of notes here to try to convince you that not every Arizonan thinks poorly of Martin Luther King Jr.

Back in the late 1960's I attended a convention in Chicago of the Radio-Television News Directors' Association (as it was known then.)

At one event after a luncheon, the speakers were the former President of the United States, Dwight David Eisenhower, and Reverend King, following each other.

Ike was not very good, as he read from his prepared notes through spectacles, and stumbled frequently.

King was next and he first apologized to the crowd because he "had forgotten his speech in his hotel room".

Like, who believed that, right?

He then spoke extemporaneously for some time, without referring to notes and without any of the "ers" and "uhs" we had heard from the previous speaker.

I know he was a preacher but his "performance" that day stunned me with his eloquence.

My other note concerns a day perhaps 25 years later when I was preparing to move from Mexico to Austin, Texas.

I had friends I had made in Mexico who had preceded me in making that move and when I entered town I called their number for directions in finding them.

Jordy, my friend, told me to "just come up the freeway and get off at the MLK."

"The what?", I asked.

The voice on the other end of the phone chuckled and said "The Martin Luther King Junior Boulevard but everyone up here just calls it the MLK."

So those are my remembrances of Reverend King.

I probably would have heard him speak again in Chicago at the Democratic National Convention in 1968, which I attended as a young-ish newsman.

But he was assassinated about 4 months before.

TURNOVERS

 SWMBO is proud of her ability to peel a Mandarin in one piece and she's taught me how to do it.

But today she got into a bag of apples and had to show me the results of her artistry.

That's one single peel for each of two apples!

(you may applaud)

But she doesn't do everything from scratch like her pioneer ancestors.

Ah, the miracles one can perform with frozen puff pastry sheets from the supermarket!

A short time later, the product of her toil emerged from the oven, filling the house with a delicious aroma.

Once they had cooled they got a garnishing topping of some (canned) frosting.

And voila!

Fresh, home-baked Apple Turnovers!

It's a good Sunday.

A DAY WITH THE DUCKS (AND GEESE)

 There are two small lakes in the center of my town, close to where we live now.

So we drive down and visit the abundant and varied waterfowl.

I think the larger birds in the front of the above photo are geese but I'm no Audubon so I can't be sure.

This guy, in his dress-up white suit surely must be a goose, mustn't he?

Meanwhile up at the upper, smaller pond, many of the birds seemed to prefer dry land to the water on this chilly day.

The lakes supposedly are stocked with Rainbow Trout, Largemouth Bass, Sunfish, Bluegill, Channel Catfish and White Amur and from time to time we see hopeful anglers trying their luck.

For we old retirees with time on our hands it's a nice place to spend some time communing with nature.

THE FRIDAY FUNNIES

 Just so you know, my elves have been very busy lately and the Humor Bank is full of great evidences of hilarity.

But this week I decided to challenge you.

So it's all words - no cartoons.

But I think (and after all, it is I who am the most important around here) that you'll still get a lot of laughter out of this week's selections.

So . . . here we go!

How ya' doin'?

Tired from all that reading?

Well your trial is over.

Now put down your reading glasses, forget that today is Friday the 13th (!) and prepare to have a spectacularly fine weekend.

But always remember to keep laughing!

Here, kitty-kitty . . .

(oops, sorry, put the reading glasses back on)

DAYS OF OUR LIVES

 

THANK YOU

 Thank you all, good friends, for the kind words you extended on yesterday's post.

They may be a bit premature though.

Yesterday marked an anniversary of Judy's and my first meeting.

We didn't get married until April of 1971.

Nevertheless, your kindness was greatly appreciated.

And a couple of things I left out.

As Tom (of France) pointed out, she is also an accomplished fence painter!

As well as an artist in many art genres over the years.

And a lover of books as well as the author herself of a finished but unpublished novel.

And, is it even necessary for me to mention that she is a marvelous cook?

Tradition tends to rein in our kitchen, as in a delicious and savory "pot of beans" she whipped up recently.

The 15-bean mixture was flavored by the addition of a ham-bone left over from our Christmas feast and some red onions.

Her long-time accompaniment comes from a recipe by her Hoosier (Indianan) mother.

Let me tell you, nothing goes as well with "a mess of beans" than a slice of that great cornbread.

So yes I have a multi-talented wife and you might recognize why I refer to her, respectfully, as SWMBO (She Who Must Be Obeyed)!

52 AND COUNTING

 You may have thought from the title of this post that I was going to show you a card trick.

52 being the number of cards in a deck of playing cards.

But no, it's something else entirely.

It's the number of years that I have known the lady who stands by my side.

Exactly 52 years ago today, in Indianapolis, Indiana, I met a beautiful young lady known as Judy.

I fell instantly in love.

And 89 days later we were married, beginning a long and adventurous life together.

Over the years she has morphed into many things.

Nature lover

Barefoot beach visitor

Mexican sailboat passenger

Tree hugger

Wine lover

Art appreciator

Always a friend to cats

World Traveler with some lout in Monaco in '85

Amused by Beautiful Bruno in a tavern in Innsbruck, Austria

Stunning a Christmas party in Guadalajara, Mexico

There are many, many more images and memories I could share.

Let me just say that it's been a wild and wonderful ride.

A great deck of cards, one might say.