THE FRIDAY FUNNIES

Here it is . . Sunday again.

Is this my Groundhog Day week?

I'm just kidding - I know it's really Friday.

And Friday is when we and the Humor Elves here at Oddball Observations kid around a bit.

(Like we don't most of the time, right?)

So, with the oft-quoted expression "Laughter is the Best Medicine", let's go to the doctor and see what has been prescribed.

'Tis all, folks.

Even I, your loyal leader, can only laugh so much.

Especially in a week where I've been stuffing myself with food and drink.

Could be explosively dangerous.

But you are hereby granted permission to do whatever you like on this week of Sundays but please have a very good, long and safe weekend.

And always remember to keep laughing!

Here, kitty-kitty . . .

( . . HEY! Get DOWN from there! . . )

IS IT SUNDAY?

 I normally rise in the morning when darkness is still cloaking the land.

That's mainly because of Sweetie-Pie, our blasted cat.

She jumps up on my bed and purrs loudly in my ear.

"I'm hungry.  Feed me!", she demands.

And she is very persistent so I've just learned to get up and fix her bowl of food and change her water.

Sometimes I go back to bed and some more sleep.

But lately I've been retiring for the night around 8 p.m. (the time I used to head out on the town for a night of alcohol-fueled ribaldry) so by 4 the next morning, if I've had a decent night, I'm ready to rise.

So then I get a cup of coffee, weigh myself, make my bed and dress for the day.

And sit down at my computer desk, aka the International Headquarters of Oddball Observations.

This morning I stumbled across a recipe and when Judy woke (hours and hours later!!) I asked her if we had any apples.

When she answered in the affirmative I told her I was going to make breakfast for the two of us.

About an hour later I served it up.

Fresh from the oven, my take on a German Apple Pancake, aka a Dutch Baby.

Suffice it to say, it was delicious and a big hit.

As confirmed by a note on the recipe that it serves 3 to 4 but we two scavengers finished the entire thing.

If you want to make one this link should take you to the instructions.

Now there's only one problem.

We normally breakfast sparingly through the week and save the  occasional feasting for Sunday mornings.

I said to Judy as we were finishing our scarfing, this really is only Thursday but now it feels like Sunday. 

So now what am I gonna do?

ORANGE YOU GLAD?

When I was a young man growing up in cold and snowy North Dakota I learned the value of a nice warm sweatshirt.

(For you residents of the UK, think "jumper".)

Even the governor wore one on a Saturday morning run with his staff and members of the press.

(Governor Bill Guy is the tall fellow on the right in glasses.  I'm the lad in dark on the left, apparently dreaming of going back to bed.)

They were cheap.

They were rugged.

They lasted forever.

And most important of all, they were warm.

So as I have reached the senescence of my long and not-so-well-lived life and the temperature has dipped into the 50 degree range . . .

(Again for you residents of not only the UK but the entire world outside of the U.S. of A., think Fahrenheit.  Celsius puts it in the 10 degree range and now I'm really shivvering.)

. . . I went looking in the retail outlets for sweatshirts.

Lo and behold, I found one.

Bright red it is and, with it's fleecy composition, as warm as I remember from the Good Old Days.

But I only got one and while I am extremely careful in the kitchen and at the dining table (he lied) it would accumulate spots from time to time.

I dreamed of getting one or two more and today I went back to the same store and did just that.

Now, SWMBO has qualms about me shopping alone for additions to my wardrobe.

And when I came home and modeled my latest purchase, she shuddered noticeably and covered her eyes.

Now I ask you: is this too much?

She seemed to think it was a tad (or a truckload) too bright.

But I assured her it would protect me when I go out to the street to pick up the mail from our mailbox.

And frankly, I love it.

(To be honest: I got one other in a subdued dark grey.)

By the way, when I was looking for that first picture above I found one other of me in a sweatshirt, albeit a short-sleeved one worn for summer.

It shows me exhibiting my style sense at the end of our obviously exhausting weeklong migration from Indiana to Arizona in 1972.

It was just past July 4th and I was still dressed for the patriotic fervor.

A NEW BEGINNING

The Christmas Holiday is finally over, though some places are still closed today.

Perhaps to recover from hangovers?

As noted above, it feels like a new beginning to me.

I know those feelings are not supposed to set in until January First or Second but it has come early to me.

We had a very quiet Christmas Day, just the two of us here.

The indomitable SWMBO was in full battle mode in the kitchen much of the day, producing a delicious dinner of baked ham, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes and gravy, warm dinner rolls.

And she moaned because she hadn't provided a green vegetable to go with all of that food.

Lordy!

Every year after one of these feasts, she declares that will be the last holiday meal she prepares.

"It just doesn't make sense to go to all that trouble when it's just the two of us!", she says.

But then the next holiday rolls around and away she goes again.

We had a visit from the BAD and a companion on Christmas Eve in the afternoon.

Drinks and finger foods were consumed.

And then the BAD lived up to her acronym by producing these two "gifts".

Treachery!

I had warned her the last time not to ever bring another jigsaw puzzle into our house!

But had she listened?

Apparently so because as I ranted and raved at this malicious act, she just sat there and LAUGHED at me!

Two puzzles!

One of them has 500 pieces, the other ONE THOUSAND!

She's trying to drive me mad, I tell you.

Oh well, eventually I shall relent and we will get them out and solve them.

We may be even more doddering when that trial is over but we shall solve the bloody things.

So, (pant, pant), how was your Christmas?

A HOLIDAY DRINKING SONG

I tasted wassail once, in my younger days.

Wretched stuff!

CHRISTMAS DAY

 To one and to all

a very Merry Christmas!

vigilia di Natale - THE COUNT IS OVER!

 Hark!

Did I just hear the tintinnabulation of tiny sleigh bells?

For sure, many places in the world heard them.

It is (finally) Christmas Eve.

I bet you thought this asinine countdown/countup of mine would never end.

But it has and I thank you all for your patience, your comments, your friendship and your good humor/humour through the preceding year and, in fact, years.

So, let the merrymaking begin in earnest.

Happy Christmas and Best Wishes to celebrants of all those other holidays at this time of year!

SANTA DAY - PARTE UNDICI

 Today is Part Eleven of my imbecilic Marking off of the Days until Christmas.

Intelligent readers of this blog (and I know you ALL are) will note that there are only two more days until the fat old man in the red and white suit deposits packages of swag under holiday trees all over the world.

I wonder how he does that.

Those reindeer must be really fast.

At any rate, this is the final Saturday Shopping Splurge Cycle before the big event.

Also known as The Day Men Finally Break Down and Shop!

So don't let me hold you from the Centers of Commerce.

Make like those reindeer and hurry!

APPROACHING - PARTE DECIMA - THE FRIDAY FUNNIES

 It's the tenth day of this ill-thought-out March Toward Christmas.

I don't know about you but I'm getting more than a little sick of it.

But here at the International Headquarters of Oddball Observations, I throw myself (and my co-conspirators contributors) into the fray.

Hmm, I wonder what "fray" means.

Oh well, whatever it means, here are your end-of-the-week enterainments.

I hope you were delighted with this silly string of sidesplitting slapstick.

And I hope that you will have a sensibly insane weekend.

Remember, Santa is coming.

Oh, and always, always, always remember to keep laughing!

Here, kitty-kitty . . .

( . . . or is it kitties . . . )

NEARING - PARTE NOVE

 You may notice that I am no longer using the word "countdown" in my derisory "Countdown to Christmas" . . .

Oh drat, there I did it again.

Oh well, call it a "countdown" or, what it actually is, a "count-up" and I'll just stand on the sidelines and watch the fun.

Because fun, you see, is what this is all about.

Or removing the first comma makes that sentence even more meaningful.

Because "fun you see" is really what this is about.

And now that I've nattered for way too long, here it is.

DA DUM, DA DUM - PARTE OTTO

In our continuing program of Education for the Elderly it has been pointed out to me that a "countdown" means that the numbers are reduced each day.

i.e. (id est, for you Latin lovers) 5-4-3-2-1.

Whereas while I have been referring to my absurd ticking off the days until Christmas arrives as a "countdown", I actually have been increasing the number of days left each day.

So what I have been doing is NOT a "countdown".

It is, in reality, a "count-up".

I shall not identify the pedantic chap who pointed this out to me to save him from being slurred, threatened and perhaps stoned in public.

And besides, I should get points for doing my "count" in Italian.

Ergo, we shall point out that today is Day Eight in my CountUp to Christmas and here's your daily dash of drollery.

GETTING CLOSER - PARTE SETTIMA

 It's the seventh day of my wretched Countdown to Christmas and I have declined the suggestion of London based Steve Reed to announce the day in Icelandic rather than Italian.

I mean, how would you pronounce Sjöti Hluti anyway?

So we shall continue our language lessons from the land of pizza and pasta.

And, by the way, inject some holiday humor into your humdrum schedule.

ONE WEEK TO GO - PARTE SESTA

 I hope you all are appreciating your Italian lessons as I continue my supercilious Countdown to Christmas.

It's next Monday, y'know, and Joy of Joys - another three day weekend!

So let us continue to put some Christmas spirit into your jaded selves.

(Note: I did not say "elves".)

XMAS - PARTE QUINTA

 I have a little classwork for you today.

First, you have to look at yesterday's post and then find Granny Sue's comment.

Then come back for this:

Next, you have to find Debby's comment yesterday and then come back for this:

That is all.

You may now resume your holiday joyfulness.

C-DAY - PARTE QUARTA

 Yes, it's Day Four of my ridiculous Countdown to Christmas.

Here's your Daily Dose of Drollery.

THE FRIDAY FUNNIES (CHRISTMAS - PARTE TERZA)

 In case you've been wondering what those strange words are in my Post Titles (and I know that you have but you're all just too polite to inquire about them) and you're not a polymath like the Cheerful Monk, it's Italian.

And each one tells you what day it is in my ridiculous Countdown to Christmas.

For example, today is Parte Terza.

Or Part Three.

Oh the lengths we Senile Senior Citizens go to amuse ourselves.

At any rate, it's not only Parte Terza or Part Three or the Third Day of my inane Countdown to Christmas, it's (more importantly) FRIDAY!

And you know what that means.

(And if you don't, you just haven't been paying attention.)

So that's it for your Festive Friday, full of fun and frolic.

Now I want you all to forget the shopping, the decorating, the cooking and cleaning, and try to have yourselves a wonderful carefree weekend.

And always remember to keep laughing!

(No matter how hard it is.)

Here, kitty-kitty . . .

CHRISTMAS - SECONDA PARTE

Dreams are the strangest things, don't you think?

For some reason when I woke this morning I realized I had been dreaming about an international Zoom call between a friend of mine and her son in some foreign land.

But before she could even say "Hello", he joyfully blasted music out through the ether to her.

But the r-e-a-l-l-y strange part of this dream was that the music was "Papa Loves Mambo"!

That's a song I haven't heard or thought of in years and I had to Google it to find the most popular version of it was recorded by Perry Como in 1954!

Now try to explain that because I sure can't.

And if I started the earworm for you just understand that I've had it going through my head for hours.

So, you're welcome.

And now let's continue our countdown to Christmas.

CHRISTMAS - PARTE UNO

 Okay, you've got me.

I know, I know, it's the Christmas season.

There are a lot of other holidays being celebrated now too, y'know.

But Christmas tops them all, it seems, so let us begin.

And while you're enjoying the following, think of Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Bodhi Day, and Zarathosht Diso.

If you're not acquainted with these the Almighty, All-Knowing Google is a good reference point.

Okay, I said "let us begin" and let's.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

TOO GOOD TO SAVE

 My Christmas elves have been busy and one of them sent this to me a few minutes ago.

I laughed (groaned) and instantly knew I couldn't hang onto it until Friday.